Conflict Management and Change Management - The Dog

Conflict Management

When it comes to conflict management, the idea of the Third Element is something that's been on my mind for many years.

它是关于寻找第三个东西，连接两个对立的政党。

Me Versus You

“我对你”的二元性对它有相当强烈的影响，而三角关系——我、你和事物——对它有更温和、更少对抗的感觉。

第三要素is the thing that we're both interested in or the thing that we both can look at (and that lessens the intensity of looking straight at each other).

例如，大多数人可能会发现，在街上走到一个完全陌生的人跟前开始和他们说话并不容易。

介绍狗

If, however, that person has a dog it's suddenly a lot easier.

Because we can both talk about the dog: "Oh, isn't he cute? How old is he?"

Without the dog, it would be much more awkward to have a conversation.

The dog is the Third Element. Having a toddler has a similar effect of enabling two strangers to enter into contact.

So in a situation of conflict, one might ask: Where's the dog?

Where is the Dog

Where is the dog in this situation that can help us to come together?

什么东西是我们都感兴趣的，因此，连接我们？

例如，在组织变革的背景下，哪只狗能把管理层和员工聚集在一起，帮助避免潜在的冲突？

可能有很多狗可以找到，例如，事实上，各方都希望该组织生存。

That's something all can agree on.

狗不一定总是漂亮的：全球化、资本主义和竞争是管理层和员工共同面对的第三个因素。

第三要素

So rather than "staff versus management", the new way of looking at the situation is that both staff and management are facing a world that has changed fundamentally, and it is this new world - the Third Element - that is forcing both sides to change.

以这种方式看待它可以改变双方之间的动力，并使之软化。

第三个元素的概念comes into play in less constructive ways: Bitching about a third person seems to enable two people to bond easily - but does it lead to meaningful relationships?

或者美国外交政策的例子是什么：仅仅因为俄国人有共同的敌人，就支持塔利班对付俄国人真的是一个好主意吗？

I believe that relationships where the only third thing that connects people is a shared enmity or dislike for something - and no shared positive values - are ultimately less beneficial or satisfying... it's better to keep looking for positive dogs... woof!