Going For A Win-Win Result - A Guide To Being Assertive
Assertiveness Training Win-Win
It is interesting that many people still confuse being assertive with being aggressive.
How about you? Have you learnt the difference?
Forgive me if you have, but for those of you who still aren't quite clear, here is a quick guide to assertiveness going for the win-win result.
Assertiveness
"The basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive is how our words and behaviour affect the rights and well being of others"
沙龙安东尼Bower.
It is interesting that many people still confuse being assertive with being aggressive.
How about you?
Have you learnt the difference?
Win-Win Result
Forgive me if you have, but for those of you who still aren't quite clear, here is a quick guide to assertiveness going for the win-win result.
Assertiveness is a behaviour or skill that helps you to communicate, clearly and with confidence, your feelings, needs, wants and thoughts, whilst acknowledging the needs of others.
State Your Opinions
Assertiveness means that you are able to state your opinions without feeling self-conscious, as well as being able to express your emotions openly.
自信将使您能够清楚地向别人清楚地了解您希望的各个方面。
Respect Rights
与此同时，您将重视其他人，尊重他们的意见。
Through effective, assertive communication you will be able to express how you wish to move forward.
Is there an issue that needs to be resolved?
Confrontation
Before confronting someone, why not write down what you are going to say?
Be polite, concise and include the following elements: the nature of the problem; how it affects you; how you feel about it; what you want to change.
Be prepared to negotiate if necessary to bring resolution.
Tack and Foresight
By using tact and foresight and by making the effort to see the other point of view and acknowledging it you will place yourself in a position of strength.
Be prepared to offer a compromise if that fits in with what you are aiming to achieve.
Assertiveness does not mean digging your heels in for the sake of it!
Assertiveness, Aggressiveness or Passivity
Are you behaving passively?
Do you think it is selfish to say what you want?
Do you worry that if you refuse to do something, then people won't like you?
Or do you think that other people should know what you want?
Second Guessing
Most people are so wound up with their own thoughts and worries that they usually haven't time to be second-guessing you.
By being clear and prepared to defend your own position if necessary, you will be able to build better relationships with those around you.
Feeling aggressive?
Take it out in the gym, on a punch ball or on the running track rather than at work or at home.
Aggression is emotion out of control and can be very destructive.
Physical activity can help you to diffuse the aggression.
One of the great skills of an assertive person is the ability to say "no".
Be brief and to the point.
Practise Saying No
Be honest. If you know an unwelcome request is coming your way practice saying no in advance.
What are you going to say and do?
If necessary, use the 'Broken Record Assertiveness Technique' where you just keep repeating your statement softly, calmly and persistently.
Not Rejection
Don't confuse rejecting a request with rejecting the person making the request.
Most people are happy to accept an honest "no" if it is expressed appropriately.
第一次将是最难的！
Assertive Person
Practice the body movements of an assertive person.
When standing, be upright and relaxed with open hand gestures.
Relax your facial features and make firm and direct eye contact with whoever you are communicating with.
Assertiveness does not mean that you spend the day grinning!
Facial Expression
Your facial expression needs to be appropriate to how you are feeling so that you don't give out any mixed messages.
If you are pleased, smile, but if you aren't so happy with the way things are, feel free to frown.
如有必要，愿意探索其他解决方案。
Encourage creativity from all.
"How can we solve this problem?"
Will encourage others to tap into their resourcefulness.
Encouragement
Sometimes it just takes a bit of encouragement.
Weigh the costs. Telling other people how you feel also makes it easier for them to communicate their feelings to you.
Assertiveness is about acknowledging that all opinions are important
"I matter and so do you"
By being passive or aggressive you will lose out. Assertiveness costs nothing but brings many benefits.
Communicate Better
You will be able to communicate better, command respect and be listened to within respectful, negotiating relationships. Win-Win?
Definitely!
“距离不算什么;只有the first step that is difficult."
Madame Marie du Deffand
The following article was contributed by Kate Harper who is a Motivation Coach working in the Highlands of Scotland.
Assertiveness Training
Impact Factory runs
Open Assertiveness Training Courses
Tailored Assertiveness Training
and personalised
for anyone who is interested in
自信问题
