自信沟通：20个有用的提示
Assertiveness - 20 Top Tips
以最有效的方式满足了实现需求的20个策略和方法。
我们大多数人都知道自信会在生活中得到更多，而不是被动或侵略性。
但我们中的很少人实际上被教过如何是自信的。
这是一些有用的提示。
1.选择合适的时间
Imagine you're dashing down the hall on your way to a meeting.
Lisa passes by.
You call out,
“星期二你能拥有Microsoft项目吗？”
因为你没有安排一个特殊的时间来提出这个问题，因此Lisa没有理由认为你的要求应该得到高优先级。
2.选择正确的地方
讨论私人中立位置的重要问题。
3.直接
例如
"Lisa, I would like you to work overtime on the Microsoft project."
丽莎是否喜欢您的要求，她尊重您的直接。
4. Say "I," Not "We."
而不是说
"We need the project by Tuesday"
say
“我希望你星期二完成这个项目”
5.具体
Instead of
"Put a rush on the Microsoft project"
say
"I would like the Microsoft project finished and on Joe's desk by 9:00 Tuesday morning."
6. Use Body Language to Emphasise Your Words
“丽莎，我需要星期二早上的报告”
是一个断言声明。但如果您在盯在地板时咕噜咕噜咕噜咕噜咕噜咕噜咕噜咕噜声。
7. Confirm Your Request
请您的员工在会议上记笔记。
在每次会议结束时，要求您的小组重复达成一致的具体细节。
这最大限度地减少了误解。
8. Stand Up For Yourself
不要让别人利用你;坚持公平对待。
Here are a few assertiveness examples:
- "I was here first"
- “我想要更多的咖啡，请”
- "Excuse me, but I have another appointment"
- “请拒绝收音机”
- “这款牛排做得很好，但我要求中稀有”
9.友好
Learn to be friendly with people you would like to know better.
Do not avoid people because you don't know what to say.
对人微笑。
Convey that you are happy to see them.
10.诚实地表达您的意见
When you disagree with someone, do not pretend to agree.
当你被要求做一些不合理的事情时，请解释。
11.分享您的经历和意见
When you have done something worthwhile, let others know about it.
12.学会接受善意的话
有人称赞你，说
"Thank you"
13.目光接触
Maintain eye contact when you are in a conversation.
14.不要获得个人
When expressing annoyance or criticism, comment on the person's behaviour rather than attacking the person.
例如:
"Please don't talk to me that way"
rather than
"What kind of jerk are you?"
15. Use "I" Statements
When commenting on another's behaviour use "I" statements
例如:
"When you cancel social arrangements at the last minute, it's extremely inconvenient and I feel really annoyed."
16. State What You Want
If appropriate, ask for another behaviour.
"I think we'd better sit down and try to figure out how we can make plans together and cut down on this kind of problem."
17.寻找良好的例子
Pay attention to assertive people and model your behaviour after theirs.
18. Start Slowly
Express your assertiveness in low-anxiety situations at first; don't leap into a highly emotional situation until you have more confidence.
Most people don't learn new assertiveness skills overnight.
19. Reward Yourself
每当你推动自己制定自信反应时，都会奖励自己。
无论来自其他人的回应如何做到这一点。
20.不要把自己放下
Don't put yourself down when you behave passively or aggressively.
相反，确定你走出去的地方并学习如何改进。
Garrett Coan是一名职业治疗师，教练和心理治疗师。
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