Assertive Communication - An Anger Management Technique
Anger Management
The way we communicate or the style we use to communicate is often learned from much earlier experiences in our lives when our language skills were newly formed.
Most of us tend to communicate in a way that was adaptive in the environment we grew up, but problematic in our lives today.
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Unexpressed Emotion
For many of us, our style ofcommunication可以留给我们未满足的需求,unexpressed emotion以及对我们周围的人的破坏性影响。
Our client, Aaron, told us that in his family they typically yell at one another to get the point across.
亚伦最近与一个人告诉他的女人建立了关系，当他生气时，他的愤怒吓到了她。
Aaron's reply was that he was not upset, this was just the way I am used to expressing myself when I get upset, this is normal for me.
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Normal Communication
The reality is that what might be normal for you and your family of origin may not be the norm in terms of communicating effectively with others.
Aaron's style of communication is aggressive, but he didn't realise the impact it had on his girlfriend.
Aaron had to learn about his style of communication as well as other styles of communication to understand the kind of changes he needed to make.
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Being More Assertive
By learning to become more assertive, Aaron felt better, his needs got met more of the time, and his girlfriend no longer feared him when he did get upset.
The way we communicate or the style we use to communicate is often learned from much earlier experiences in our lives when our language skills were newly formed.
Think about your family's style of communication for a moment.
Is your style similar to any of theirs?
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通讯风格
Most of us tend to communicate in a way that was adaptive in the environment we grew up, but problematic in our lives today.
For many of us, our style of communication can leave us with unmet needs, unexpressed emotion, and damaging effects on those around us.
It is important to understand that there are many different communication styles, yet only one that tends to yield the results we are seeking.
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Expressing Feelings
学习表达您的主要感受和需求，清楚地，平静地，具有良好的目光接触是什么自信的沟通。
Good communication skillsare an essential ingredient to anger management because poor communication causes untold emotional hurt, misunderstandings and conflict.
Words are powerful, but the message we convey to others is even more powerful and often determines how people respond to us and how we feel toward them.
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Communication is a Two-Way Process
因为沟通是一种双向过程，所以沟通技巧的人擅长从其他人接收消息以及提供它们。
If you look at people in your life and we also look at your own behaviour, you may discover certain patterns of communication.
Some patterns are negative and harmful while others are positive and productive.
Frequently persons who have anger management problems use harmful ways of communicating to others harmful in the sense that it disrupts relationships and usually does not accomplish the goals that you intended.
Assertive communication, on the other hand, is a much more effective way to get what you want and what you need without the negative consequences.
In short, the development of assertive communication skills will work for you by making you a more effective and less stressed person.
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What is Assertive Communication?
这是一种沟通的方法，以便您以好方法传达您的权利。
Assertive communication helps people clearly explain their wants, needs, and feelings to other people.
It is a way of getting things that you want without violating or offending others rights or having to walk away without getting what you want.
Assertive people tell others what they want and need clearly; they have a knack of saying the correct thing at the correct time.
Assertive communication skills are the antidote to harmful, destructive communication patterns.
This article was contributed by Ari Novick
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Anger Management and Assertiveness
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