个人冲突管理

冲突管理技能

误解is the root of many conflicts.

But what exactly causes the conflict when miscommunication is responsible?

本文揭示了误解三角形。

Conflict Triangle

If you were to ask me to pick one factor that was responsible for conflict I'd have to choose miscommunication, hands-down, as the primary factor.

为什么？因为误解使得不可避免地导致冲突的其他因素的三角形。

Let us discuss this miscommunication conflict triangle.

用误解的三角形拍摄一方，恐惧采取另一种，并假设采取第三方。

误解

误解如何发生？

当一边没有足够的信息向我们传达足够的信息时，它会发生这种情况，或者我们误解了他们的话语的真正含义。

In either case, we get a different meaning of their words than they intended.

随着电子邮件和IM聊天的出现，这是一个成为常见问题，因为基于类型的沟通是异步通信的，这意味着人们没有实时通信它基本上是电报。

异步通信

Asynchronous communication does not allow for immediate feedback response, so our minds have to interpret what the other person is saying based on their typed words alone.

Although most common in typed-based communication, miscommunication can also occur in any type of communication setting.

另一种常见类型的误解是没有沟通或缺乏沟通。

Fear

People always fear the worst outcome.

在误传中，思想将填写他们自己的创造性洞察力的遗失信息，这通常是恐惧的。

Think of the husband who is out late and forgets to call his wife.

因为那里有缺乏沟通，所以她开始担心，她的思绪立即切换到恐惧模式。

Self-talk occurs and it takes the form of her own fears.

他做过一些事情吗？他在欺骗我吗？

Our minds will always think of the worst possible outcomes based on our fears and insecurities.

假设被认为是真理

我们的思想需要对事件的逻辑解释。

One of our most basic needs is the need to have answers and the need for reasons and explanations.

Absent those needs, our minds switch to a fear-based mode where we have to satisfy our need for answers with that of assumption.

假设是恐惧的衍生作用，因为我们总是根据我们的恐惧和不安全感来担任最坏的情况。

Assumption, therefore, fulfils our need for a logical explanation for the unexplainable event and we tend to become locked into that assumption, believing it as truth.

妻子可能不安全地对他们的关系不安全，可能会记得她抓住了她丈夫和秘书调情的时候，她的恐惧会让她让她的丈夫必须出去迎接她的假设。

What To Do?

当我们面临误解时，我们必须让我们的思想能够在额外的可能性方面开放，而不会对对方的某种真理，直到我们完全从他们所思考的思考。怎么可以完成？

好吧，你的恐惧和假设会自动踢。

There is no way to fend against that because that is how our minds are wired.

Instead of adopting those assumptions as the truth, however, simply acknowledge those assumptions as one possibility out of a number of possibilities.

列出您的假设，并在不判断或评估它们的情况下致谢所有人。

只是告诉自己：

"These are all possible, but we don’t know the truth yet, so I won’t lock myself into any one of them."

By keeping your mind open to additional possibilities, you can break the assumption triangle and prevent miscommunication conflict from happening.

这篇文章由Tristan LoO提供贡献。