Top Tips on How to Avoid Conflict at Christmas
How to Avoid Conflict at Christmas
“Christmas comes but once a year, and when it comes it brings good cheer.”
（传统幼儿园押韵）
啊，好吧，有些人带来了良好的欢呼;对于其他人来说，它真的可以成为一个悲惨的旧时间。
惨淡的圣诞节
我的建议不仅与害怕即将到来的“节日”赛季的人有关，而且对于那些在和一年中听到的朋友和亲戚的人以及呻吟着悲惨的圣诞节的人来说。
以下是您今年的选择：
- Do exactly as you did last year
- 做一些不同的事情
Do Something Different
All right, so that's a bit simplistic. The reality is that unless you do something different you will indeed repeat the same dynamic as last year.
Although it's slightly late in the day, you could cancel the usual Christmas that you inhabit and book Christmas lunch at a pub or restaurant. I know a few families who have done that in the past few years and have never looked back.
你甚至可以预订远离一切和每个人。如果你害怕前面，我是转动尾巴和跑步的忠实粉丝。
Family Christmas
但是，如果你真的想拥有一个家庭圣诞节，尽管去年发生了什么（并且大概是在此前一年等等，那么延伸回到童年时），那么你绝对不得不改变你做的事情你想要一个不同的结果。
警告！
By doing something different you may not get the outcome you want, but I can guarantee you will get something different.
图案
每当家庭聚在一起，无论是快乐的时间还是充足的时间，每个人都会陷入行为模式。
有备则无患。
With Christmas a hop, skip and jump away, this is a great time to step back and take a good hard look at the patterns that can make your Christmas so hard.
直到你可以在问题所在的地方下面，你无法做任何事情。
每次聚在一起都发生了什么？
或者相反，有什么样的模式对和平与和谐有害？
Keep the good patterns, get rid of the negative ones.
我怎么做？？
接受您的目标只是改变自己的行为。
You have no control, nor should you, over anyone else’s.
Triggers
一旦确定了模式，它必须识别触发器。只有在触发器钩住的情况下只能维护模式，从而重复无益，不健康的行为。
这是一个例如：模式可能是：
"Every time we get together, I end up arguing with my sister."
The trigger could be:
"She always criticises the way I speak to my daughter."
一旦您隔离触发参数的特定行为，那么您就可以开始更改您所做的事。
Here’s what you can do
Top Tips to Avoid Conflict
Using the above example, here are some options:
1. Using Diversionary Tactics
一旦你看到她的嘴准备好说同样的老东西，采取转移的行动，让她为你做点什么。
2. Preempting
在她之前进入那里。“哦，看看我再次完成了。当我和埃拉那种方式说话时，我知道它对你有多烦恼。我的坏！”并改变主题。
3.同意
This can be tricky as you don't necessarily want to agree with her point of view, but you can acknowledge how she feels. "I agree Sis, I can see it annoys you when I talk to Ella that way."
然后拉链嘴唇并继续填充土耳其或你手头的其他工作。
4. Putting it on the Back Burner
Knowing that the holiday time can bring out the worst in both of you, now would be a good time to let her know you know how she feels but that now isn't the best time to open the discussion. "Why don't we park this for now and find a better, quieter time to have a chat."
5. Going to the Loo
一旦违规的话语从她的嘴里出来，就会迫切需要。这将给你买一段时间，你可以在哪里有一个沉默的尖叫，收集你的想法，撕掉一些厕所，好像是你的妹妹，平静地透气，又透过返回磨损。
The Result Will be Different
在每种情况下，你都不知道她将如何做出反应。她可能会卷起来，她可能会升级，她可能会在一个困境中散步，或者她可能会拿走暗示。你只是不知道。
什么不同的是，通过改变您的所作所为，您将获得这种情况，以便参与更改模式。
这些选项对于您识别的任何触发器将有效：婆婆批评你烤土豆的方式，Hubby在电视台前面，叔叔铁匠铺喝醉了。
The key is to hold on tight and avoid the bait that's either consciously or, more likely, unconsciously thrown your way.
幸存的圣诞节意味着提高你对可以积极选择的地点的意识，以支持你幸福的方式而不是延续旧的功能障碍模式，这使你失望。
PS: Patterns aren’t just for Christmas! If you find you simply don’t have the strength to challenge your own behaviour during Christmas, by all means give it a try in the New Year. That would be one resolution worth keeping.
冲突管理培训
Impact Factory runs
OpenConflict Management Courses
和个性化
对于想要改善他们的人的人
管理冲突
